Christmas Card 2009

“And to think that I saw it from an Odyssey Seat”
– with apologies to Dr. Seuss,
based on “And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street”[1]

When another year [2]is come and gone
Nanette will say “Hon-ey,
Will you roll your sleeves on up
and write our card for me?”

But when I tell her where I’ve been
And what I think I’ve seen,
She looks at me and sternly says,
Your eyesight’s much too keen.

Stop tellin’ such outlandish tales.
Stop telling folks you’re now a whale.”[3]

So, what can I say
When I write our card today?

What I have noted,
is that all of my feats
were generally started
from an Odyssey[4] Seat.

That can’t be my card.
That’s boring as heck!
My rep would be ruined, and I’d be a wreck.[5]

My card must be clever, and never repeat,
when I say that I saw it from an Odyssey Seat.

How about driving coast to coast![6]
The story would really be better to hear
if the driver were Josh learning to steer![7]

Starting in Cali, Pacific sand in our feet
Finishing in Delaware at Rehoboth beach.

California, Utah[8], Idaho[9]to visit family we go
Independence Rock, Martin’s Cove we had not seen – they’re new by jove.

Just to mention a couple more things,
Mt. Rushmore, then Crazy Horse where hammers still ring![10]
Minute man silo and then Winter Quarters;
Independence; Nauvoo on Iowa’s borders.

And then one last stop before we head home,
In Jackson TN, where Grandpa Hamm went to roam.
Say! That makes a story that no one can beat,
When I say that I saw it from an Odyssey seat.

But now I don’t know…Our card isn’t quite right.
A couple more stories to shed some more light,
Jaclyn’s a Cougar to all our delight![11]
Scott helped give her a handcheering Cougs from the stand![12]

Nathan and Tyler flag football MVPs,
Playoff victories both and a great big trophy.
Hillside Elementary, Nate - class rep
Tyler to 2nd grade class -smile & pep.

Jacob is now in High School, as well
Biceps like Schwarzenegger to hear him tell.
Joshua sits in judgment on court: Basketball reffing – his favorite sport. [13]

For Nanette, five years
As Young Women’s pres.
with 45 YW, there’s always a need
which she meets with skill and speed!

Scott coaching soccer,[14]
Tyler’s a goal scorer
Jacob’s now a teacher,
and Josh is a priest.

That is a story that NO ONE can beat!
When I say that I saw it from an Odyssey seat!

The card is so close
And it is sure grand
a little more bragging
then to friends we’ll send

…a marathon by the old man…[15]
a scholarship for Jaclyn…
..staples in Jacob’s head – a tale[16]

No time for more,
It’s time to mail.

I pulled out some paper
this card was first rate
I just had to smile
And I felt simply GREAT!

FOR I HAD A CARD THAT NO ONE COULD BEAT!
AND TO THINK THAT I SAW IF FROM AN ODYSSEY SEAT!

So I sat down quite calmly
This was going to be cool
I would show all my friends
That the Hamm Family rules!

There was so much to tell, I JUST COULDN’T BEGIN!
The paper was there - I lifted my pen.

A braggadocios letter of all our feats
All the things we had looked at…the places how neat.
Where to start all the tales I saw from my seat...

“Nowhere,” I said, growing red as a beet,
“Just Merry Christmas to all… from my Odyssey seat.”

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all us Hamms to all of you!

[1] I have been told that my selection for the basis of my card was too esoteric. So, if you are not familiar with this book the boy is walking home from school and begins to imagine a story he will tell his Dad about what he saw on the way home which grows and grows until he gets home and bursts into the house and…tells his dad the truth.
[2] Wow, 2009 is gone. I can’t believe it was a decade ago we were worried about Y2K. This marks 5 years here in the East.
[3] In all honesty, the thing that gets me most in trouble are comments about her, they usually end up on the editing floor.
[4] Our Toyota Sienna was having struggles (before it’s time according to my calendar) and so we bought a Honda Odyssey this year – I would have preferred a Suburban, but I don’t drive it every day so Nanette got her wish.
[5] Some would argue I’m a wreck regardless.
[6] We went cross country and it was a GREAT trip. I highly recommended to anyone who would like to visit sites across the country. I will say that after about the third day lunching on Skippy brand peanut-butter-honey sandwiches from the back of the van we nearly had open revolt!
[7] Joshua has his driver’s permit. Loan papers for auto insurance are in process.
[8] A trip to Lagoon and the Country Boy store are always included.
[9] We took most the cousins and went to Jackson Hole and floated the river. It was awesome!
[10] If you are up that way, we definitely recommend Crazy Horse – kids liked it better than Rushmore. And they got FREE souvenirs – rocks.
[11] Jaclyn was admitted to Brigham Young University – her first choice. It also means that Scott can still sit in student seats for football!
[12] Not that this worked out too well, I attended two games – FSU & TCU. Sigh.
[13] Refereeing isn’t his favorite sport, but basketball is. Although, he makes good money reffing and since he turned 16 it should help pay for dates…
[14] Coaching is probably a bit generous. Herding cats is probably more accurate.
[15] It is true, I finished a marathon. As for my time, as one friend told me “Wow, that is a long time to run.” Finish line pic: http://gatecitysports.com/Marathon%202009/Site_6/Bibs_51-100.html#44
[16] And why does this always happen on vacation and right when you are getting ready for something else? Finding a swim cap for him to use while whitewater rafting was fun. And we got to find a really interesting doc in a box in Cody Wyoming.