Middle adventure

“Was that today?”  

This was the answer when we called one of the missing boys to see where he was this morning.  Not exactly the answer you were hoping to hear.  We gathered for the obligatory pre- departure photo and loaded into vehicles.  I watched the thermometer in my vehicle as we made our way north.  By the time we arrived the windshield wipers were on and the temp registered at 59.   Ouch.

Once everyone arrived we moseyed over to the mountain bike check in.  They needed paperwork in order to check us all in.  Remember the hundreds of pages of waivers that Jason and Bryce had sent?  Those are the ones.  And what do you suppose are the odds of them having each form for each boy (and adult)?  Well, I’m not much of a gambling man, but let’s just say I’m comfortable that they were very long odds and the odds makers would have been correct.  There were two additional complications – first, not everyone was doing the same activities and some activities took different waivers.  Secondly, they had been filed by boy rather than by activity.  So with a speed that would have rivaled any Xerox product, Jason began collating.   In the end it turned out that we had many of the forms we needed.  [The rest of this particular incident has been edited out for 5^th amendment purposes]

So three leaders and two youth decided to go mountain biking.  The other 10 youth needed two vehicles to two leaders as they opted for rock climbing and repelling which was up on top of the mountain.  I was part of that group.  The mountain biking crew told us it was a blast and Jason Jensen even has the oozing red forearm to prove just how fun it was.  We came back from checking in to get our extreme passes and Justin Schafer had been transformed into some sort of superhero.  He looked more like Iron Man than Justin.  I had to admit some jealous for the cool equipment they were wearing.  Fortunately, it was a cool enough day that it wasn’t insufferable to wear it.  I hope it smelled better than the equipment at BMX last year.  Wait, I know it did because I was within 300 feet and didn’t get a whiff which was no the case last year. 

The rest of us cruised up to the top of the mountain and met our guide and headed a few miles down the road.  We got out and walked a hundred yards or so into the woods and there was a shed.  It didn’t look like a insidious house of torture from the outside.  But maybe I was just blinded by the anticipation of the climb.  Our guide asked each person what size shoe they took.  It was actually a little frightening how many either had to look at their shoes or made a guess.  Then again, I suppose that when your foot size changes every month and you get shoes every 6 or more, you might not know. He starts with 4 at a time.  The boys tell him their sizes, he disappears into the shed, we hear some banging around and muttering and then in what seems a much longer time than necessary he comes out with a somewhat maniacal glint in his eyes with 4 pair of climbing shoes, repeats the size they ordered to them and then hands them a shoe which is at least a half size different.  He takes four more orders disappears, returns with and repeats the process.  At first I was giving him the benefit of the doubt, but when someone asked for a 9.5 and got a 9, and the person who asked for a 9 gets a 10, the hair on the back of my neck starts to stand.  Are we headed deep in to the deep creek forest with a deeply disturbed individual?! 

Climbing shoes, if you haven’t seen them, are sort of like moccasins on top with a stiff thin bottom and then a narrow toe area to allow you to jam your little piggy’s into the crevices and holes to help you climb.  The shoes ain’t made for walking.  When after following his instructions to try on the shoes, he tells us we can take them off for the walk which is about a quarter mile.   Then he gets us our harnesses.  Let’s just say that we are not all larges and that there were some among us who were fortunate this wasn’t a co-ed activity.  #thingsI’drathernotsee.  We then get helmets and proceed the walk/hobble to the rock.  I wonder if it would be more comfortable for Courtney Hicks or Amanda Mangum given their ballet experience.

When we arrive we are greeted by two other folks who are already there to assist.  Well, one is to assist, the other we are told is training.  I’m not sure how their training program works, but hands on experience must not be included as  she didn’t do anything but watch and chat it up.  They have three climbs set up.  But they only have two belays.  And there are 10 of us.  So what it mostly involved is standing around and watching.  But the climbing was fun.  Many of the youth hadn’t climbed a real rock face before.  The stone was a sandstone which was a little difficult on the fingers.  Bishop Lan had a nice bleeder on his shin.  I think everyone made the first and second climbs.  About half or more made the third one and everyone got a chance to repel as well.  We had been expecting rain all afternoon and then only time it really rained was when the maniacal guide said “we were expecting more rain.”  Maybe this demon controls the elements.  Just a theory.  The roughness of the stone made it ok to climb even in the rain.  The walk back to the shed was 10 times more difficult than the walk to the rock.  The relief as those shoes came off was palpable.

For dinner we headed to the pizza place. We slightly over estimated how much pizza we needed and inadvertently bought pizza for both nights and a midnight snack.  We were glad there was a fridge in the hallway downstairs (and a microwave!).   

We then convened in the boardroom for devotional.  It is an awesome thing to see these young men share their testimonies.  Some will be full time missionaries in a little over 3 months and all in less than 3 years.  Bishop Lan concluded with his presentation about a world class rugby player who left his career to serve a mission.  It was great.

After devotional games broke out.  I watched as Jacob Holtom started with no real estate in monopoly and then before you knew it (which is saying something for monopoly) won the game.

We are checking the weather and have serious concerns as it appears that tomorrow will be all rain after noon.  We are hoping that it will hold off long enough for us to do our white water trip first.  

Tuesday Torture Day

With dawn comes realization that I have been bitten by some creatures yesterday.  I begin to doubt the efficacy of the smoke repellent methodology.  As the scouts fall out of tents I inquire as to how the 5 man tent fared.  They say it was great, after which they immediately back track and with stories of how someone fell out of the tent, how there were someone’s hairy legs in a bad spot and that at some point in the early hours they had devised a much better arrangement.  I only regret I won’t be there tomorrow morning to ascertain the success of the new method.

I’ll be honest, I have low expectations of the Marriott food.  Most times I’m not disappointed, but it isn’t terrible and it feeds the machine so to speak.  The eggs were typical. The sausage wasn’t too bad.  The oranges were very good.  However, the pancakes… well, if they hadn’t burned all the cardboard the previous day I would have accused the food picker uppers of pranking the troop.  But the blood shot eyes from the smoke tell me there is no cardboard left.  They provided no butter, but given the disks are cold they wouldn’t have melted it anyway.  I pour the syrup over them and let them sit a bit to see if they will soften to somewhere to where they might fall in the Mohr’s scale at somewhere south of diamond.  But the “pancakes” must have seen that coming and like water from a ducks back shed the viscous substance.  I eat two of them anyway.  I can’t let them get away with it, but I don’t count it as a win.

At 9am the scouts head off to class.  For you rookie parents, the first day is a terrible day to be at camp to take pictures.  Almost every merit badge involves sitting around listening to someone talk to you about something.  It’s a lot like school, only bugs are biting you.  I have a few pictures and you should be proud that they stayed awake pretty much the entire time.  The best heart break story comes from the waterfront.  The 9 o’clock canoe and kayak classes both got into the water.  The 10 o’clock kayak class (including Tyler F, Logan, and Mason) stood in the hot sun wearing their PFDs while shouting the parts of the paddle.  For those of you who have forgotten, those PFDs don’t really breathe….  They did not get in the water.  The 11 o’clock classes, including the canoe class with, yep, Tyler, Logan, Mason, and a couple other members of the troop, spent 50 minutes, yep, standing in the sun, wearing PFDs while shouting the parts of the oar.  They didn't get into the water.  I’m not a sympathetic person by nature and torturing the scouts just a little is a hobby, but even I’m feeling bad for them.  

As we ate lunch choking on smoke from the bug defenses (which was ok, I prefer my lunch meat a little smoky) we realize that at scout camp there is so much to do and so little time.  Folks are trying to decide if they can do the canoe campout, the wilderness survival campout, and the mile swim.   Given they are offered on two nights and there are three activities, it doesn’t look promising.  But they are pretty smart and creative boys (I mean they have 5 folks in one tent) so I’m interested to hear how it all turns out. 

It was a pleasure for me to be at camp again.  I’m really thankful to Tim and Dermot for being there all week.  I’m really proud of the boys who are all pitching in and showing kindness to each other.  It is always a blast for me to be there. I wish I remembered more of the quotable quotes, they were legion.   I’m pretty sure I spent the only money I’ve spent in the store for a t-shirt.  Note, not the only money of mine that has been spent there, but the only money I’ve spent there!

Thanks for sharing your kids.  Give them a quick hug when they get home, make them shower and then ask them to tell you all about.  If you think my write ups are long and tedious, you probably haven’t heard anything yet.  

2015 Oh my Gosh...en!

In preparation for camp this year, I was using a mapping program to review the route and much to my surprise, and if I were being honest, my chagrin, it almost sent me to the knob!  The once top secret Wayne Janzen discovered, 1106 trail blazed, “secret” time shortening path is now lying out there naked for any tom dick or harry to have.  I have to admit I’m more than a little sorry about that.  It dawned on me that when I started to attend Goshen in 2005, someone had written down directions, we had to look at street signs and road signs and hopefully stick with the car that was in front of us!  I recall our car train running down a road and then having to do an about face when we got to the street sign and realized that wasn’t the road we needed.  Then the amazing internet developed and we were able to get on and map out a route to follow from a paper print out – a personalized map!  And then handheld GPS allowed us to not even need that but just plop in the address and then do most of us haven’t done before – listen to the directions of a woman.   

As per usual protocol, we assembled at the church and departed 20 minutes after the departure time which was quite a while after the arrival time.  But hey, it takes some time to get the boys looking this good for the photo shoot.  We put 5 or so rolls of film in the can so that you can have the wonderful picture below.  We spare no expense for our devoted but meager followers.  We arrive at camp following the Knob and wait for the stragglers who mosey in quite a bit later.   One scout asks me if we can just do swim checks first and get our camp unit assignment later.  I ask him if he is planning to strip naked there on the field to change into his swimsuit.  Thankfully, the tumblers click appropriately and he understands why we have to wait.  I’m asked by another adult what I might have done if there was a contrary answer.  I tell him President Holtom is there and he could have had a conversation with him about those proclivities.  We get checked in and head to camp 6.  We tell them to quickly get ready for swim checks so we can head back down.  I have to inform about half of them that open toed shoes or flip flops are only for showering and can’t be worn around beautiful camp Marriott.

Scoutmaster has come up with a crazy or crazy like a fox plan to purchase large quantities of junk food which he will have on hand to those who have paid his initiation fee to get into his decadence den.  For just $12 you can have 1.8 cans of soda a day, some chips, some pop tarts and maybe some other delectables.  It appears that many of the boys have ponied up the initiation fee.  Theoretically this will reduce by more than $12 the amount spent at the camp store.  Hmm.  Come to think of it, maybe that is why I saw two “staff” members named Guido and Knuckles making a visit to Tim yesterday and making him “an offer he can’t refuse.”

We always attend LDS week at Camp Marriott.  That means a number of things:

1.       One sees a lot of “Y”s on hats, Ts, etc..

2.       It is usually the first week of camp and so a number of the bugs haven’t been worked out yet

3.       It is the largest (often times capacity) camp week of the year; and

4.       We check in on Monday morning rather than Saturday or Sunday and since the troops are LDS, they are all running on Mormon standard time as well - meaning everyone is trying to check in at the same time which is slightly later than scheduled.  

This means the opportunity to stand in line with our 13 or so scouts (we never really count them, we just hope we come home with the ones we took or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof) along with another 50-100 of their co-horts.  Trying to keep them in line and not touching, poking, jostling, etc one another would take an act of divine intervention.  Since it is Monday and we are still feeling somewhat fresh and resourceful, we determine to hold off on using our divine intervention yet and answer affirmatively any time any of them want to leave for whatever reason.

I have decided I want to take the swim check but don’t really need all that goes with it.  I also need my paperwork so that I can go to high adventure later this week.  These things are all in conflict which each other.  I approach the table with some fear, I mean telling it like it is – the BSA is a lot like the government so a med check is a lot like a visit to the DMV only less organized.  In the end let’s just say the old Hamm charm must be working because I leave the table with a wrist band, a tag, and my paperwork – the trifecta.  Winner.

After that long wait we are ready to go down to the water for swim checks.  Fortunately, there is no one in line.  Unfortunately they tell us we have to wait until after lunch.  Then they change their mind, then they take a break.  But that does allow them to say numerous times to the waiting scouts that they should not grab onto the yellow rope.  But rather than say that they yell that they should not touch the lemon line.  Not understanding scout speak, it takes a few reminders and even a definition of lemon line.  Very long story short, we get our swim check and head off to enjoy our traditional first meal – tube steak.   By the time we finish and eating, it is already about 1:15 with a 10 minute walk back to camp, changing clothes and getting back for class which are starting at 2:00 we are time restrained.  As such the newbies don’t get a camp tour which means they have no idea where they are going.  Don’t worry, we pointed them in the general direction and with a compass and the sun we assumed they were OK. 

I’m noticing from the class sizes that there are a lot scouts in camp.  A gentleman stops by who is someone in authority and while Brooks takes a nap in his chair proceeds to tell us that the camp is at full capacity (400) and they had to send some troops to the 3^rd week.  I don’t think that matches what we had last time it was “full” but I’m seeing that there are a lot of big classes.

Other than the size, things seem well in hand as the afternoon classes seem to go off without too much difficulty and the newbies make it back to camp and most folks enjoy a cold .8 of a soda.

Prior to dinner they decide to make a fire, after a box of matches and a large quantity of cardboard, there are some smoky ashes and not much more, including firewood to feed any fire which they might actually build since they are all content to sit rather than gather.  Sam G enjoys the smoke – apparently he has an aversion to bug spray and instead prefers blinding and choking amounts of smoke which are rumored to keep away bugs. 

After dinner we have FHE.  They have built a very fancy new amphitheater.  But as I walked past it this morning I thought to myself, those don’t seem to hold as many folks as the old bleachers. Sure enough, there were a lot of folks sitting on the ground next to the seats.  I assume most weeks it will be sufficient, but not this week.  FHE is a lot like what you have at home with some really nice talks/lessons that a number of people in your family (sometimes including adults) think go a little long.  We sang and prayed and ended in time to walk over to the flag area and realize that we have just about 35 minutes till flag ceremony.   The perfectly imperfect time.  So we walk back to camp and have a quick devotional about a scout who was in their spot 5 years ago and is now in Brazil.  They don’t realize it, but man they will get their quick.  Then we head back down for flag retreat, which also includes staff introductions which we didn’t get earlier due to the registration delays. 

Then its time for lights out.  We once again have a few scouts who prefer that rather than believing the lie that the man is putting forth that these are 2 man tents, that the capacity is much higher.  Sort of like those capacity signs in elevators that if you put in that many folks you would all have no discernible personal space and might actually have to talk to your bishop…  they have 5, six if you include the guest.  It frightens me so I try not to think about it, but like a train wreck, I have to take a peek. 

It is well after quiet time that some of the other troops around us actually have “quiet time.”  Ah, beautiful Camp Marriott (where there is no running… generally)

As I fade to black, there are burning questions in my mind – will they each get 1.8 sodas per day?  Will the stash run out before the clock?  Who will attempt to sit in the throne?