In preparation for camp this year, I was using a mapping
program to review the route and much to my surprise, and if I were being
honest, my chagrin, it almost sent me to the knob! The once top secret Wayne Janzen discovered,
1106 trail blazed, “secret” time shortening path is now lying out there naked
for any tom dick or harry to have. I have
to admit I’m more than a little sorry about that. It dawned on me that when I started to attend
Goshen in 2005, someone had written down directions, we had to look at street
signs and road signs and hopefully stick with the car that was in front of us! I recall our car train running down a road and
then having to do an about face when we got to the street sign and realized
that wasn’t the road we needed. Then the
amazing internet developed and we were able to get on and map out a route to
follow from a paper print out – a personalized map! And then handheld GPS allowed us to not even
need that but just plop in the address and then do most of us haven’t done
before – listen to the directions of a woman.
As per usual protocol, we assembled at the church and
departed 20 minutes after the departure time which was quite a while after the
arrival time. But hey, it takes some
time to get the boys looking this good for the photo shoot. We put 5 or so rolls of film in the can so
that you can have the wonderful picture below.
We spare no expense for our devoted but meager followers. We arrive at camp following the Knob and wait
for the stragglers who mosey in quite a bit later. One
scout asks me if we can just do swim checks first and get our camp unit
assignment later. I ask him if he is
planning to strip naked there on the field to change into his swimsuit. Thankfully, the tumblers click appropriately
and he understands why we have to wait. I’m
asked by another adult what I might have done if there was a contrary
answer. I tell him President Holtom is
there and he could have had a conversation with him about those
proclivities. We get checked in and head
to camp 6. We tell them to quickly get
ready for swim checks so we can head back down.
I have to inform about half of them that open toed shoes or flip flops
are only for showering and can’t be worn around beautiful camp Marriott.
Scoutmaster has come up with a crazy or crazy like a fox
plan to purchase large quantities of junk food which he will have on hand to
those who have paid his initiation fee to get into his decadence den. For just $12 you can have 1.8 cans of soda a
day, some chips, some pop tarts and maybe some other delectables. It appears that many of the boys have ponied
up the initiation fee. Theoretically
this will reduce by more than $12 the amount spent at the camp store. Hmm.
Come to think of it, maybe that is why I saw two “staff” members named
Guido and Knuckles making a visit to Tim yesterday and making him “an offer he
can’t refuse.”
We always attend LDS week at Camp Marriott. That means a number of things:
1.
One sees a lot of “Y”s on hats, Ts, etc..
2.
It is usually the first week of camp and so a
number of the bugs haven’t been worked out yet
3.
It is the largest (often times capacity) camp
week of the year; and
4.
We check in on Monday morning rather than
Saturday or Sunday and since the troops are LDS, they are all running on Mormon
standard time as well - meaning everyone is trying to check in at the same time
which is slightly later than scheduled.
This means the opportunity to stand in line with our 13 or
so scouts (we never really count them, we just hope we come home with the ones
we took or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof) along with another 50-100
of their co-horts. Trying to keep them
in line and not touching, poking, jostling, etc one another would take an act
of divine intervention. Since it is
Monday and we are still feeling somewhat fresh and resourceful, we determine to
hold off on using our divine intervention yet and answer affirmatively any time
any of them want to leave for whatever reason.
I have decided I want to take the swim check but don’t
really need all that goes with it. I
also need my paperwork so that I can go to high adventure later this week. These things are all in conflict which each
other. I approach the table with some
fear, I mean telling it like it is – the BSA is a lot like the government so a
med check is a lot like a visit to the DMV only less organized. In the end let’s just say the old Hamm charm
must be working because I leave the table with a wrist band, a tag, and my
paperwork – the trifecta. Winner.
After that long wait we are ready to go down to the water
for swim checks. Fortunately, there is no one in line. Unfortunately they tell us
we have to wait until after lunch. Then they
change their mind, then they take a break.
But that does allow them to say numerous times to the waiting scouts
that they should not grab onto the yellow rope.
But rather than say that they yell that they should not touch the lemon
line. Not understanding scout speak, it
takes a few reminders and even a definition of lemon line. Very long story short, we get our swim check
and head off to enjoy our traditional first meal – tube steak. By the time we finish and eating, it is
already about 1:15 with a 10 minute walk back to camp, changing clothes and
getting back for class which are starting at 2:00 we are time restrained. As such the newbies don’t get a camp tour which
means they have no idea where they are going.
Don’t worry, we pointed them in the general direction and with a compass
and the sun we assumed they were OK. 
I’m noticing from the class sizes that there are a lot
scouts in camp. A gentleman stops by who
is someone in authority and while Brooks takes a nap in his chair proceeds to
tell us that the camp is at full capacity (400) and they had to send some
troops to the 3rd week. I don’t
think that matches what we had last time it was “full” but I’m seeing that there
are a lot of big classes.
Other than the size, things seem well in hand as the
afternoon classes seem to go off without too much difficulty and the newbies
make it back to camp and most folks enjoy a cold .8 of a soda.
Prior to dinner they decide to make a fire, after a box of
matches and a large quantity of cardboard, there are some smoky ashes and not
much more, including firewood to feed any fire which they might actually build
since they are all content to sit rather than gather. Sam G enjoys the smoke – apparently he has an
aversion to bug spray and instead prefers blinding and choking amounts of smoke
which are rumored to keep away bugs.
After dinner we have FHE.
They have built a very fancy new amphitheater. But as I walked past it this morning I
thought to myself, those don’t seem to hold as many folks as the old bleachers.
Sure enough, there were a lot of folks sitting on the ground next to the
seats. I assume most weeks it will be
sufficient, but not this week. FHE is a
lot like what you have at home with some really nice talks/lessons that a
number of people in your family (sometimes including adults) think go a little
long. We sang and prayed and ended in
time to walk over to the flag area and realize that we have just about 35
minutes till flag ceremony. The perfectly
imperfect time. So we walk back to camp
and have a quick devotional about a scout who was in their spot 5 years ago and
is now in Brazil. They don’t realize it,
but man they will get their quick. Then
we head back down for flag retreat, which also includes staff introductions
which we didn’t get earlier due to the registration delays.
Then its time for lights out. We once again have a few scouts who prefer that
rather than believing the lie that the man is putting forth that these are 2
man tents, that the capacity is much higher.
Sort of like those capacity signs in elevators that if you put in that
many folks you would all have no discernible personal space and might actually
have to talk to your bishop… they have
5, six if you include the guest. It
frightens me so I try not to think about it, but like a train wreck, I have to
take a peek.
It is well after quiet time that some of the other troops
around us actually have “quiet time.”
Ah, beautiful Camp Marriott (where there is no running… generally)
As I fade to black, there are burning questions in my mind –
will they each get 1.8 sodas per day?
Will the stash run out before the clock?
Who will attempt to sit in the throne? 
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