Merry Christmas 2010 and Happy New Year 2011

In the new greener world, and in the one current one in which I don't have unlimited resources to send glossy booklets to all my family and friends with our Christmas greeting, I provide an electronic version of our annual Christmas Card. And yes, those are footnotes. Deal with it.

Hamm's
. . Isle1
Sung to the tune of Gilligan's Isle 2

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of a grateful year
That started from Virginia
With a two thousand ten cheer. 3

Now Nate was a mighty middle school man,
6^th grade is good for sure
Played football, soccer, basketball too
Sense of humor is so mature,

Jaclyn was a BYU Soph,
Summer working a restaurant,
admitted into the nursing school 4 -woohoo
rumored boyfriend she has got,5 (but not if you ask Scott.

Well Ty hit ground falling off of his
unstable bicycle
He broke his arm,6
was baptized too,
His dad still works for Deloitte,
Downtown DC
Coaches basketball in spare time
If that's what you can call it7

So this is the tale of Nanette's full days,
she serves everyone all the time
Ma on trek and a Den mother
uniformed she's fine!

Josh posted a song on youtube 8
We all think it's the best.
He worked at a pizzeria
And joined the Eagle's nest.

Jacob completed his eagle project
He's happy as can be
He played JV football 9
Is refereeing for a fee

So join us anytime my friends,
we welcome with a smile
From seven happy hammaways
Here on Virginia's soil!

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year! Thank you for your friendship! And know that if we were going to be stranded on a desert isle, you would be second on our list of who to be stranded with, right behind the guy who can make about anything we need (other than a boat) from nothing more than coconuts! :D

1. Just a note about the picture at the top (the card): I was against the cross dressing and suggested two Mr. Howell's. I was outvoted (some things are still done democratically even in the Hamm household). Tyler was an extremely good sport in agreeing to play the role of Mrs. Howell.

^2. With apologies to Sherwood Schwartz, the genius who brought us both Gilligan and the Brady Bunch, and who wrote the theme songs for both! I would proudly note that we own the complete collection of Gilligan's Island and my children have been indoctrinated although, they seem to prefer ALF.

^3. My editor (Nanette) pointed out that while most of you probably got through the first verse, many might not be familiar with the full version of the song. To maybe help you along as you try to sing the above, I provide the full lyrics:
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, A tale of a fateful trip. That started from this tropic port, aboard this tiny ship.
The mate was a mighty sailing man, The skipper brave and sure. Five passengers set sail that day, For a three hour tour, a three hour tour.
The weather started getting rough, The tiny ship was tossed, If not for the courage of the fearless crew The minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost.
The ship set ground on the shore of this uncharted desert isle, With Gilligan, The Skipper too, The millionaire and his wife, The movie star, The professor and Mary Ann, Here on Gilligan's Isle.
So this is the tale of the castways, They're here for a long, long time, They'll have to make the best of things, It's an uphill climb.
The first mate and the Skipper too, Will do their very best, To make the others comfortable, In the tropic island nest.
No phone, no lights no motor cars, Not a single luxury, Like Robinson Crusoe, As primitive as can be.
So join us here each week my friends, You're sure to get a smile, From seven stranded castaways, Here on "Gilligan's Isle."

^4. We were very proud of Jaclyn and her hard work as this is one of, if not the, most selective program on campus! She clearly has her mother's brains!

^5. We are prohibited from providing any additional information. (jk) But, if you want to know more, you will have to ask her. ;) ps - let us know what you hear. ;)
^6. So, for those of you counting (and we are), we believe that is 4 broken arms in 5 summers. Of our boys, so far Nate is the only escapee (knock on wood). The picture here is of Ty on our summer vacation. We spent a week at Lake Almanor in Northern California with Nanette's entire family (not only lived to tell about it, quite enjoyed it). Ty didn't let his arm slow him down at all. He is seen here with is cast protector (listen, I know all about waterproof casts, but for a number of reasons, including Ty's being a compound fracture, waterproof wasn't available) (yes, I also know that they make cast covers - we had one, and well, it was a distant second to the old garbage bag and duct tape in terms of keeping the cast dry) getting ready to head out to the lake.
^7. Whether the "if that's what you call it" references his coaching or his "spare time" we leave to you (hint - it is likely equally applicable)

^8. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Nd3uIlLRPk The song is called "Help! I'm in love with a superstar." It is written and preformed my Josh. Just a warning, it is a catchy little tune and you might find you wake up one day with it running through your head if you listen to it...

^9. varsity state champs!

10. If you have any cute 14-17 year old daughters who would like to get to know my two oldest boys, please text me at

Chocolate Milk - diet?

I have held the belief for years that I could live off of Chocolate Milk alone, but now I find out I can use it as a diet drink! Woo Ho0! I attach a picture of my favorite beverage in the same cup I have been using for that purpose (and spoon) for nearly 30 years now.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/54828/the-chocolate-milk-diet/

The Chocolate Milk Diet

By David Zinczenko, with Matt Goulding - Posted on Thu, May 13, 2010, 9:52 pm PDT
Eat This, Not That by David Zinczenko, with Matt Goulding a Yahoo! Health Expert for Nutrition
Visit Nutrition Home »
More By This Expert
The Chocolate Milk Diet

Imagine if everything you needed to know about weight loss, you learned in kindergarten. Well, if your teacher gave you chocolate milk as a lunchtime treat, she was (unknowingly) giving you one of the most powerful weight-loss tools in the nutritional universe. Turns out this childhood staple may be the ideal vehicle for your body’s most neglected nutritional needs. Each bottle delivers a package of micro- and macronutrients that can help you shake off body flab and replace it with firm muscle. And when you served it ice-cold, the creamy sweetness flows across your tongue with all the pleasure of a milk shake. Yum.

That’s the crux of what I'm calling "The Chocolate Milk Diet," which isn’t a diet at all. It’s essentially three eight-ounce servings of chocolate milk consumed at key points throughout your day: one when you wake up, a second before you exercise, and a third directly after your workout. Or, if it's your day off, just pattern them for morning, afternoon, and night. Sounds good, right? It is, and that’s why it’s so easy. But is this a free ticket to eat as much fried chicken as you want throughout the rest of the day? Unfortunately not, but alongside a healthy diet, it can help you drop lots of belly fat fast. Here are the four reasons why:

Secret #1: The Calcium Effect
Researchers have known for years about the role that calcium plays in building strong bones, but a more recent development deals with they way it affects your belly. A series of studies have shown that calcium can actually impede your body’s ability to absorb fat, and when researchers in Nebraska analyzed five of these studies, they were able to estimate that consuming 1,000 mg more calcium can translate to losing nearly 18 pounds of flab. What’s more, other studies have shown that dairy foods offer the most readily absorbable calcium you can find. Knock back three servings of brown cow and you’ll reach that crucial 1,000 mg threshold. At that point, any other calcium that you eat or drink is a bonus.

Secret #2: The Vitamin D Factor
All the calcium in the world isn’t going to help you if you don’t get a good dose of vitamin D to go with it. That’s because vitamin D is responsible for moving calcium from your food to your body, which means if you’re running low on D, you’re probably also missing the calcium you need to stay slim. Other symptoms of the D deficiency are weak muscles, easily breakable bones, and depression—not a great combo for success. Now here’s why this is significant: Most experts agree that the average American isn’t getting enough D. Some estimate that only half the population is meeting the requirement and one study published in the journal Pediatrics found that 70 percent of American children had low levels of D in their diet. The thing is, your body makes vitamin D naturally when you expose your skin to sunlight, but most people spend too much time indoors to benefit. And intentionally spending more time in the sun could put you at risk for skin cancer. The solution? Drink up. Chocolate milk, like most milk, is fortified with vitamin D. One caveat here: Drink 1% chocolate milk. Vitamin D won't work without a little fat to help break it down. You want to skip the whole milk, too, as it has too many calories to make it a regular habit. The best option is 1%, or low-fat chocolate milk. It has the fat you need to absorb crucial vitamins, yet at three cups a day, it will save you 120 calories over whole milk.

Secret #3: The Endurance Boost
If you want to lose the gut, you’ve got to exercise—no surprise there. But here’s a fact that’s not so obvious: Drinking chocolate milk can improve your gains. In a study published in The International Journal of Sport Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism, subjects given chocolate milk before hopping on the stationary bikes were able to ride 49 percent longer than subjects given a generic carbohydrate-replacement beverage. And on top of that, they pedaled even harder. Total work performed by the chocolate-milk group was greater than the work performed by subjects drinking carbohydrate-replacement drinks or electrolyte-fortified sports drinks. The reason? Milk has naturally occurring electrolytes that keep you hydrated—more hydrated then water, in fact, which I revealed recently on my Twitter account—and its natural sweetness helps push more energy into your muscles. Another study from 2009 found similar results, but it went one step further by asking participants which beverage they thought tasted better. Not surprisingly, 100% chose chocolate milk.

Secret #4: The Protein-Body-Weight Connection
Want to know the secret to staying thin? You need more muscle. That’s because muscle burns more calories than fat, so for every new muscle fiber you create, your resting metabolism receives another surge of fat-torching energy. And chocolate milk can help you do that. Researchers have determined that the ideal protein load for building muscle is 10 to 20 grams, half before and half after your workout. How much protein will you find in low-fat chocolate milk? Eight grams per cup. (That means one serving before your workout and one serving after will give you a total of 16 grams of highly effective whey protein—a perfect serving.) Add that to the extra cup you drank first thing in the morning and you’re looking at a turbocharged metabolism that keeps you burning calories all day long.

Christmas Card 2009

“And to think that I saw it from an Odyssey Seat”
– with apologies to Dr. Seuss,
based on “And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street”[1]

When another year [2]is come and gone
Nanette will say “Hon-ey,
Will you roll your sleeves on up
and write our card for me?”

But when I tell her where I’ve been
And what I think I’ve seen,
She looks at me and sternly says,
Your eyesight’s much too keen.

Stop tellin’ such outlandish tales.
Stop telling folks you’re now a whale.”[3]

So, what can I say
When I write our card today?

What I have noted,
is that all of my feats
were generally started
from an Odyssey[4] Seat.

That can’t be my card.
That’s boring as heck!
My rep would be ruined, and I’d be a wreck.[5]

My card must be clever, and never repeat,
when I say that I saw it from an Odyssey Seat.

How about driving coast to coast![6]
The story would really be better to hear
if the driver were Josh learning to steer![7]

Starting in Cali, Pacific sand in our feet
Finishing in Delaware at Rehoboth beach.

California, Utah[8], Idaho[9]to visit family we go
Independence Rock, Martin’s Cove we had not seen – they’re new by jove.

Just to mention a couple more things,
Mt. Rushmore, then Crazy Horse where hammers still ring![10]
Minute man silo and then Winter Quarters;
Independence; Nauvoo on Iowa’s borders.

And then one last stop before we head home,
In Jackson TN, where Grandpa Hamm went to roam.
Say! That makes a story that no one can beat,
When I say that I saw it from an Odyssey seat.

But now I don’t know…Our card isn’t quite right.
A couple more stories to shed some more light,
Jaclyn’s a Cougar to all our delight![11]
Scott helped give her a handcheering Cougs from the stand![12]

Nathan and Tyler flag football MVPs,
Playoff victories both and a great big trophy.
Hillside Elementary, Nate - class rep
Tyler to 2nd grade class -smile & pep.

Jacob is now in High School, as well
Biceps like Schwarzenegger to hear him tell.
Joshua sits in judgment on court: Basketball reffing – his favorite sport. [13]

For Nanette, five years
As Young Women’s pres.
with 45 YW, there’s always a need
which she meets with skill and speed!

Scott coaching soccer,[14]
Tyler’s a goal scorer
Jacob’s now a teacher,
and Josh is a priest.

That is a story that NO ONE can beat!
When I say that I saw it from an Odyssey seat!

The card is so close
And it is sure grand
a little more bragging
then to friends we’ll send

…a marathon by the old man…[15]
a scholarship for Jaclyn…
..staples in Jacob’s head – a tale[16]

No time for more,
It’s time to mail.

I pulled out some paper
this card was first rate
I just had to smile
And I felt simply GREAT!

FOR I HAD A CARD THAT NO ONE COULD BEAT!
AND TO THINK THAT I SAW IF FROM AN ODYSSEY SEAT!

So I sat down quite calmly
This was going to be cool
I would show all my friends
That the Hamm Family rules!

There was so much to tell, I JUST COULDN’T BEGIN!
The paper was there - I lifted my pen.

A braggadocios letter of all our feats
All the things we had looked at…the places how neat.
Where to start all the tales I saw from my seat...

“Nowhere,” I said, growing red as a beet,
“Just Merry Christmas to all… from my Odyssey seat.”

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from all us Hamms to all of you!

[1] I have been told that my selection for the basis of my card was too esoteric. So, if you are not familiar with this book the boy is walking home from school and begins to imagine a story he will tell his Dad about what he saw on the way home which grows and grows until he gets home and bursts into the house and…tells his dad the truth.
[2] Wow, 2009 is gone. I can’t believe it was a decade ago we were worried about Y2K. This marks 5 years here in the East.
[3] In all honesty, the thing that gets me most in trouble are comments about her, they usually end up on the editing floor.
[4] Our Toyota Sienna was having struggles (before it’s time according to my calendar) and so we bought a Honda Odyssey this year – I would have preferred a Suburban, but I don’t drive it every day so Nanette got her wish.
[5] Some would argue I’m a wreck regardless.
[6] We went cross country and it was a GREAT trip. I highly recommended to anyone who would like to visit sites across the country. I will say that after about the third day lunching on Skippy brand peanut-butter-honey sandwiches from the back of the van we nearly had open revolt!
[7] Joshua has his driver’s permit. Loan papers for auto insurance are in process.
[8] A trip to Lagoon and the Country Boy store are always included.
[9] We took most the cousins and went to Jackson Hole and floated the river. It was awesome!
[10] If you are up that way, we definitely recommend Crazy Horse – kids liked it better than Rushmore. And they got FREE souvenirs – rocks.
[11] Jaclyn was admitted to Brigham Young University – her first choice. It also means that Scott can still sit in student seats for football!
[12] Not that this worked out too well, I attended two games – FSU & TCU. Sigh.
[13] Refereeing isn’t his favorite sport, but basketball is. Although, he makes good money reffing and since he turned 16 it should help pay for dates…
[14] Coaching is probably a bit generous. Herding cats is probably more accurate.
[15] It is true, I finished a marathon. As for my time, as one friend told me “Wow, that is a long time to run.” Finish line pic: http://gatecitysports.com/Marathon%202009/Site_6/Bibs_51-100.html#44
[16] And why does this always happen on vacation and right when you are getting ready for something else? Finding a swim cap for him to use while whitewater rafting was fun. And we got to find a really interesting doc in a box in Cody Wyoming.

Sea to Shining Sea

Yesterday we completed a journey we started a few months ago. While in CA for vacation we went to Half Moon Bay and enjoyed a typical Northern CA beach day - that means you bury some folks up to their necks in sand, get in the water for some boogy board fun if you have a wet suit, eat hostess and other garbage, some people wear sweatshirts due to the chill, find sand in places you didn't know you had places and have a great time. Here is a picture of 'Tater, Jaclyn, and Ty with Jacoby just off the frame with Unc Russ and Ryan the 1st in the Pacific Ocean.

Yesterday we drove over to Rehoboth, DE and spent the day at an Deleware beach which meant - you can't bury people as deep becuase the sand isn't that deep, there are more sea shells, you love to get in the water becuase it is hot even at the beach and the water is not frigid, yesterday due to riptides there was no real boogy boarding going on, we ate hostess and other garbage, found sand in places you didn't know you had places, and had a great time. Saw a pod (?) of dolphins and lots of jelly fish (no stings and no peeing on stings in case you were wondering). Picture of Jake, Nate, Ty.

So, my kids can now say they have actually been from sea to shining sea, coast to coast, Atlantic to Pacific. We all not only lived to tell about it, I think we had a pretty good time in the process...

CRE Day 3 – One Set of Red and Puffy Eyes

Day 3 – August 5, 2009
Embedded Civilian Report

Last night we were told that there was a polar bear swim this morning at 6 am. The other troop in our camp was going with a big group. I told our troop that I was going to go and anyone was welcome to join me. There were a few that said they wanted to go.

I awoke to the sound of a whippoorwill as I prepared for the swim before 6. I went out and walked among our tents to see if there was anyone stirring. I couldn't remember who said they were interested let alone which tent they were in! Would have been nice to have gathered this information last night! I was up anyway so I wandered down after the other troop left and got down there just before 6. Unfortunately, everyone was already buddied up and in the swim area. The best part was the scouts sticking in their hands and saying it felt warm – which it probably did on their hands. When they all jumped in at 6, the cries of shock and disbelief clearly indicated that it wasn't as warm as they had expected.

I returned to camp and by time I had changed out of my swimsuit the camp was starting to awaken. At 7:00 the loudspeaker blared the bugle call.

(Just a note here. I'm sure there are a few readers, most likely moms of scouts at camp the first time, who at this point are saying "He must be using pictures from yesterday since they are wearing the same clothes they wore all week." I can assure you that my pictures are accurate. I can also almost guarantee that most of the clothes you send with them to camp will come home, if not clean, at least unworn…. It amazes me how many times a swimsuit can be worn with just a little rinse in the lake each day.)

Our morning wake up song was "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. There was some limited dancing and I have to admit that none of the scouts joined me. However, there were a number of them singing and trust me, they were "starting to feel good!"

Intro at the parade grounds in front of the buttress involved "Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's off to camp we go…" sung with a British accent (scoutmaster must be making an impression on the group). Some of the less enthusiastic scouts (aka, those over 13) do not participate. Breakfast is the same yellow processed cardboard waffles that we got at heater stack at Goshen; fortunately, today we get plenty of syrup, and link sausages.

A hike up the hill to clean up tents for inspection – we got a 98 yesterday as two tents were a little sloppy – and they are off to do what scouts do at camp – earn merit badges!

I made my best attempts to capture what each of the scouts were doing, but I honestly don't know where some of them are being held and "action" shots of them sitting and listening to a lecture reflect camp as an sort of boring think akin to school and so the BSA has asked me not to publish any such photos. I'm kidding. At least about the BSA request part.

Cameron and Spencer prepping for their back float requirement.

Jacob, Bryce, and Nathaniel doing a relief carving.

Reuben and Robert canoeing while Kevin works on his footstool.

Kyle, Daniel and Jacob at the range. No shots from Archery since they were busy making their arrows today so they didn't get to shoot.

Second and third rotations found a few different activities.

Patrick & Nathaniel at woodcarving and leatherwork. Jacob and Patrick at swimming. Robert, hmm, I believe this in Indian Lore – he must be telling a story about a famous chief. Cameron at art admiring his project. This last picture, I'm not going to venture a guess as to what has caused the bubbles right behind Patrick.

I went out to see if I could get some pictures of the environmental science guys. Their class is at the nature cabin. Wow! I thought rifle was a long ways out there. It is really hike out to that cabin. I'm again re-thinking my size analysis and think this is a very wide camp. Unfortunately, to add insult to exercise, they have already left to go do observations. Since I have a few spare minutes, I hike up to their new "chapel" on the hill above camp.

We have been looking for the rock enon all week. I see a few from there that might be it, but the pictures are not that clear…..

After lunch today I challenge the troop to an obstical course that is down on field sports. Many in the troop were too afraid to try, but here are some pictures of those who had to guts to go for glory!

Those are Nathaniel, Bryce, Jacob, and Cameron. The last picture is the scoutmaster. Jacob Hamm and I were the only other participants. Everyone made it all the way and no one took over 1 minute and 25 seconds. Nice job guys! And my old bones, well, let's just say I finished near the top and the scoutmaster will be feeling his attempt in the morning.…

After lunch it was back to the rock face for this instructor in training. Kolby got close to the top of the first climb and Daniel made it to the top. Jacob and Daniel were 2 of only 3 to make it to the top of my climb. Jacob was able to make it to the top all the climbs. The climb I was belaying was really hard because you really had to have upper body strength to pull yourself up some places with no footholds. Here I am belaying Jeremiah as he is at the point where most guys got stuck as they had to do a serious pull up. Unfortunately, due to the fact that repelling takes place on Thursday and Friday, I'm unable to complete my instructor training. Looks like I go home with just a partial. Hmm, reason to come back….tuck that one away…..

After climbing I went and packed up my stuff. I had time to catch some of the last of Citizenship in the World. When I arrived they were just getting ready to be taught how to play Mayan Football – a ring of rope, and two long polls were the only required equipment.
You can see Jacob, Reuben and Austin in this picture – or at least I can, it helps that I have seen them in those same clothes for a number of days now ;)

And once again it is time for me to go. It is always sweet sorrow at parting. I'm glad to be going home, but I do love it at camp. I smile through my red puffy eyes (tears of sorry or joy?) as I pull out of camp. (and I might add – mine were the only red puffy eyes I saw all day today).

Thanks for a great 3 days scouts! I find myself wondering how it ended up. Did the wilderness survival guys survive the night? Did the swimmers swim? Did the rifle and archery guys hit their qualifying marks? Did the space exploration rockets look better or worse than the engines that flew out of the camp fire? Did they ever serve pudding again? Did they need ponchos (there was not a drop of rain the entire time I was at camp)?

I'll anxiously await these answers on their return…

CRE Day Two – Now this is Scout Camp!

Day Two – Now this is Scout Camp
On location from Camp Rock Enon
Embedded Civilian Report - August 4, 2009

Having completed my entry for day one I find that I may have to request a photographer accompany me on future assignments. There were a lot of things that I wish I had some pictures of that simply exist only in my mind. That is unfortunate since things there have a tendency to get lost….

Woke and arose around 6 am to find the Scoutmaster had already been awake for awhile dealing with another red puffy eyed youngster who was having some physical pain, but mostly mental anguish. I took a turn extolling the virtues of lake water, camp cots and the great outdoors. I'm thankful for all the prayers offered in the behalf of sons by mothers and their faith to help their sons. I'm also thankful for any prayers offered in behalf of the scout leaders as they do their best to help each boy do their best.

Revele played at 7:00 am. We began rousting the troop. At 7:30 we got to hear "I can see clearly now the rain is gone." This was a curious choice as the day before had been clear…. There was no dancing. (Please note rookie scoutmaster with his open toed shoes… tisk, tisk.)

We moseyed on down the hill for flag and breakfast. The best troop report yet – a la Monte Python a guy riding an invisible horse and a person behind him with a pack smacking coconut shells together. Classic. I don't recall what our shtick was this morning.

The camp director is there. I have provided this photo so you can see him. Having seen this I'll leave it to you to make your own determination about why they call him Pooh. He is a very nice guy. I'm pretty sure the lady from Goshen could take him (Zinger!).

Here is a picture of the entrance into the dining hall. You can see the picture of the grace. Grace is not required to quote the grace on the building, but most do.

Breakfast is pancakes with just enough syrup that you can almost imagine how that dry yellow clump might taste if you actually had syrup on them. On the plus side, there was no chance of them getting all soggy. Bacon is slightly undercooked but since none of it seems to be able to leave the table under its own power, we figure it must be ok and eat it.

Day two most of the classes are underway in earnest. Morning highlights include: Kevin working on a stool in basketry, Bryce learning v cut, push cut, and 2 other cuts (not including finger cut – parents note the gloves on the wood holding hand) (by way of information, woodcarving is taught by an instructor nicknamed "Nubs" who is missing the top 1/3 of his pointer finger on one hand…..) (not pictured here but also learning these cuts were both Jacob Holtom and Nathaniel).

Kolby and Jeremiah got to shoot some archery while Jacob Hamm, Daniel, Kyle were drilling targets at the shooting range trying to get 5 sets of 3 within a quarter and the 5 sets of 5 within a quarter to qualify for their rifle merit badge.

That is Kyle in the red. Also note the rope around Daniel as part of his Rock Climbing requirements. The only ones who got jipped today were the swimmers who got to, get this, watch a movie on safe swim and safe float. A quiz of an attendee shortly after attending said film found him sadly unable to provide me with the mnemonic.

The second hour found Nathaniel busy with what we called boondoggle weaving his key chain.

The rest of the crew was sprinkled throughout the camp including space exploration, CBH, emergency preparedness, canoeing, archery, reptile study, wilderness survival, and Environmental Science.

While the scouts attend their last class before lunch I enjoy a warm shower and flushing toilets. That is always nice. There are a few very important things to learn at any scout camp and one of the top three is where are the flushing toilets (the other two are when are the showers available to the male leaders and how much is an ice cream at the trading post).

Lunch was grilled chicken pieces in BBQ sauce – or PB&J. I see the front severs have pudding with Nilla wafers in it. Sweet, that sounds good. When I get to our service area I see that we only have jello again. I make a quick break for it and manage to cut into one of the pudding providing lines. Victory!! You know, it really is the small things….

Each troop gets 2 plastic pitchers at a meal. They must be filled with water. You must drink two water pitchers before you can go over to get bug juice (lest anyone be concerned, it is not, as far as I could ascertain, made from bugs. In fact, I don't think most bugs would drink it. It is very similar – indeed it may actually be – McDonalds orange drink). I was quite satisfied with my ice and water, however, the scouts got pretty creative in finding ways to drain a pitcher of water in order to get to the bug juice. After lunch is siesta – a word loosely interpreted to mean "a time when the scouts get to sit around in camp and use pocket knives to whittle sticks into extremely sharp points and then stick each other while asking "Is this sharp?" At times the flash of sun off of steel is blinding as there are more knives in a 10 foot radius than OSHA would ever allow. Blood circles shrink to a distance of inches. Alternative activities include spending any remaining money they have at the trading post and constructing bows from branches and string in order to launch aforementioned sharp sticks towards one another.

After lunch I head off to Rock Climbing with our five climbing scouts (Robert is not pictured, not sure where he was at the time).

I'm just glad that there are no girls at this camp right now because I know it must be hard to resist a scout in a shiny red hat and a harness. As I became an Instructor in training, I'm not sure what they did during this time unless I was the one belaying them. I note that I held both Jeremiah and Jacob's lives in my hands. We all live to tell about it. Here are some action shots. I also note that of those who attempted today (about 9) only two made it to the top and Jacob was one of them. Making it to the top is not required – only 3 best effort attempts are required. The other 3 did not get to make the attempt. They can try tomorrow.

As you can see, they looked for the fattest guy they could find to work as the belay (think of what you would want as an anchor). Note I'm strapped to the tree. When they fall it is my job to stop the rope and use the tree to save us all. Here is Jeremiah starting his ascent. Despite valiant efforts he got stuck where most of the scouts did.

Here is Jacob. I like this shot because it gives a feel for the size of the rock face. I think it was 80 feet. Tomorrow there will be 3 climbs set up so everyone should get a chance to try at least 2 climbs. After the students leave the instructors in training get a chance to give it a go. Rather than embarrass the scouts (or myself), I'll keep my results to myself….

Dinner was uneventful if not particularly tasty. But how wrong can you go with chicken nuggets and tater tots (insert favorite Napolean Dynamite joke here). It is our troop's turn to help serve and Austin and Jacob Hamm man one station and I think Daniel and _____ man the other. Unfortunatly, Jacob displays no favoritism towards his own flesh and blood and so I receive no bonanza of tots. Due to the heat, we are allowed to dress in Class Bs tonight (and there was much rejoicing – yea).

I will note that it is interesting how having to line up and then rush through the serving line and then going to a crowded table can change your attitude about dinner from an enjoyable relaxing experience into a winner take all aggressive mentality. Where is the bread? Can I have some more water? Is there any BBQ sauce left? This isn't dinner; it is survival of the fittest. I hypothesize that since I walk all over camp all day I can eat whatever I want (later measurements would obliterate that particular hypothesis).

After dinner there is a huge game of ultimate Frisbee – scouts against the staff. Following that is staff hunt. Most of the troop forgoes those activities and head over to the shooting ranges. Reuben gets his first chance to shoot a 22. He likes it so much he comes back a second time. Here he is later on at the archery range.

When the ranges close down around 8:30 everyone gathers back at camp. The campfire is blazing and I commence to make a Dutch oven peach cobbler. It wasn't enough to feed a crew that size and fill them up, but most folks had some and the reviews were all favorable – and there was none left. Both good things. Brother Hamm had fireside tonight and spoke about D&C 90:24 and how he knew that God knew each of them and loved them personally.

Shortly thereafter, taps played, we had prayer and most of them retired for the night. Jacob Hamm and Austin were our firemen and made sure the fire was out including making three runs to the water for us. Good work guys. Three or four of the scouts- Jacob H, Nathanial Cummings, ___________ and our Scoutmaster went down to the astronomy outpost at 10:30 to hear about the stars and look through a telescope. Unfortunately, the moon is very bright tonight which may make star gazing somewhat more difficult. This was a good day. The scouts got along, we made good progress on some merit badges, they got to do some fun activities and most eyes were dry.

As I sign off tonight I would be remiss, ungrateful and a big loser if I didn't give a shout out to my better half, who 20 years ago today became my wife. She is my greatest blessing in my life and I'm glad she won't kill me for spending our anniversary at scout camp!

Camp Rock Enon – Day One continued

Is it Wednesday?
On location from Camp Rock Enon
Embedded Civilian Report - August 3rd

After class we head to lunch. Lunch is a little different in that it is "rotating" lunch, so you don't gather in troops and such as before. However, no one seemed to know that so it ended up being more like a breakfast entrance.

There is a pretty decent salad bar. We also got Jello! If you don't like what they are having – tuna salad or ham – there are jars of peanut butter on the table and packets of jelly and always a loaf or two of bread so you can eat PB&J if you want.


After lunch we head up to camp. Typical camps have green tents set up on a frame with a couple cots in them. At this campsite there were a few tents and then about 4 little buildings. They were about the size of a large garden shed with two bunkbed cots on each side – so they would hold 4 people. The front was open to what would be used as a brick fire place but some of which were in disrepair. There were no windows in the huts. Most of us changed into swimsuits and headed down to the lake for our swim test. Everyone who took it passed. The water was warmer and colder in spots. Apparently from warm springs that feed the lake. Or scouts who…. never mind. The water felt refreshing, not too cold and not smelly. Sweet.

Having had some conversations with people in camp, Doug found out that another troop had signed up and not shown leaving another camp with enough tents for our troop. Almost. He was also told that the little brick buildings got very hot since there was no breeze. I was also concerned because when we had to change for swimming, the red brick had no privacy since there were no front doors or flaps to close so they had to change in the latrines. Not that fun (remember, it is the end of the year for them, the latrines are quite full by now, and it was hot – not a pretty picture). So we decided to move to the other camp. As for not quite having enough tents….

We had enough tents for all the boys and for the two permanent leaders. Meaning, I had no place to sleep. Actually, I had two options. Option one was to have the camp supply a pup-tent I would sleep in. Option two was that the site had what they called a lodge on it and two of the leaders from the other troop were sleeping in it and I could sleep with them. I told Doug I'd take a look. When I opened the door I saw a computer and a printer – along with bunks for about 20 people. There were two people in there. Hmm. It was clearly weather proof. Not as nice as a view of the stars and a little warmer than the outside temps. Um, I'll take door number two, tell those nice camp folks not to worry about trying to find another tent for me….. Surprisingly, I didn't get any shots of the lodge to show you it wasn't really all that nice. You will have to take my word for it.

Doug went down and after having to noticed that his truck apparently had amorous feelings for the fence on the bridge going into camp (what other explanation can there be when the fender kisses the guard rail?) we get the gear all up to camp.

After lunch there is a siesta – lunch is at 12:15 and the next class is at 2. We spent that time getting camp set up – again. Everyone seemed pleased with the change, with the possible exception of the troop that was having to share the campsite with us. They were actually very accommodating and nice for the most part. The new camp is called Pinecrest. This has promise for a couple reasons. Crest would seem lower than either summit or top and if there are pine growing, it is at least below the timberline! It turns out to be quite close to the main area although up a fairly steep path to get there.

At 2:00 I went down with 4 of the boys to Rock Climbing. The area director asked if any of the leaders wanted to be instructors in training. I raised my hand, what the heck. We spent the next 90 minutes learning to tie knots. One of the requirements for the boys is to carry a piece of equipment with them all week. They gave them rope. They also gave the IIT's a red rope. Ask me to tie a figure 8 with a break for you some time. After two hours of knot tying I headed back to camp while the boys went on to another class.

I arrive in camp to find Doug in quiet conversation with a red puffy eyed scout. Sometimes it is tough to be away from home. We are thankful for the Lodge where we can go to have some privacy while three of the leaders give him a blessing.

Dinner time is Class A uniforms. The staff retire the colors as drum and bugle accompany once again. With the push of getting everyone in class over, blue cards all delivered, and camp set up nearly complete, the beautiful setting with camp in Class A's, the lake in the background, and the evening sky overhead combine to serve is a reminder of just why it is so great to get to camp.

Of course, the firing of that cannon was quite a surprise. In order to get in you have to get in a circle grab random hands and unwind. Our troop is large and appear to have lost all capacity for rational thought. We split into two groups in hopes of better results. The group with the older scouts fakes it and is granted entrance. The group with mostly younger scouts struggle to regain mental acumen necessary to complete the task. I consider my options and obligation to help – realize they have two other leaders helping them at the moment, and follow the older group in. The younger ones I believe are the last group in the dining hall. Dinner is edible. Mostly.

We return to camp and Doug, who despite planning to leave early morning, is still there, is in quite conversation with another red puffy eyed scout. We once again retire to the Lodge. This is a little odd for a Monday. The homesickness typically hits closer to Tuesday or Wednesday. I check my watch. Hmm. No, it is Monday. I have a theory that part of the issue is that in most classes on day one it is paperwork and lecture. The fun stuff will really start tomorrow. They have forgotten what it is like to be in school and to have sit and listen and they didn't think scout camp would be like school.

Doug finally bids us farewell and we head down to the Campfire. As with most Scout camp campfires, there is a long progression to the campfire area. There are the typical wooden posts with not particularly comfortable wood planks over the top of them for sitting on – outdoor bleachers if you will. As you get closer to the area, there are staff members giving you the sign – the scout sign – and so a relative hush and calm fall over the campers as they come in to sit down. However, given the "costumes" and props being held by many staff, it isn't exactly a reverent group that sits down. The program director made a few comments in welcome and then it all broke loose. Staff came running from all directions acting like people who have been keep the woods for 8 weeks with nothing but camp food to eat and hundreds of 11-17 year olds to interact with. Wait. Maybe that explains it….. They fire a "cannon" from each side which is quite loud. Along with all the screaming and other chaos I note a few items that were very peculiar to me – first, there are a number of the staff throwing smoke balls onto the sand in the stage area. Secondly, at the back of the state area there are a couple of fireworks fountains emitting a "shower of sparks and reports." And finally, they are lighting the two log pyramids at either side of the stage and I notice that I can read "Sparklers" on a box tucked into the fire. Hmm. I guess my fireworks comment to the boys is sounding a little hollow at the moment.

The insanity calms to a more typical frenzy level and the cheers commence. Best as I can tell, the idea is generally to get the scouts to yell as loud as they can in the hopes that they will go back to camps hoarse enough that even if they stay up all night talking, hopefully it won't keep the scoutmasters awake. As the yelling is going on a projectile erupts from the left fire. If you have ever played with fireworks, which I'm not saying I have, but assuming that one had, it reminded me of when you throw a "blooming ground flower" or "jumping jack" into the air and it flies. It took off into the air at a rapid velocity, made a quick wide ark and flew into the woods. Staff ran over and made sure it was out. Well, that was sure exciting.

It is now time for the Camp Director to make a few comments. Everyone calls him Pooh. I have no idea what his real name is, but I can guess why they call him Pooh. I'll try to get a picture tomorrow. Not far into his comments and additional projectile comes wizzing out of the left hand wood stack. This one heads toward the crowd and then turns left and exits stage left. Pooh and Gary (the very hard core rock climbing director) are not at all amused. I think the line Pooh used was "There is funny and then there's stupid. That was stupid." They ask if that is all of "them" since none of us really know what "them" are. Not getting a quick answer, they tear down the fire pyramid and extinguish the fire. Mostly. As a reminder to all the scouts about fire safety, the fire heats back up at least 3 more times and has to be be put out again. The right side fire, which was struggling to get started (hmm, does that happen at all scout campfires?) never got lit.

The skits are the usual fare, and I hear some complaints from the older scouts about the lack of new material. The program director does the final skit and the prostrations and writhing about were really something to behold. Unfortunately, video cameras are not allowed and the production video is not yet available. At least that is my story, I'm sticking to it.

The campfire concludes and we make our way back to camp with most of the scouts having remembered to bring their flashlights even though it was light when we left. Scoutmaster Haseldon presents devotional tonight. I would report on what was covered but spent most the time talking to a red puffy eyed scout. This is young group, but I think we are going to make it. Taps plays at 10. Having gotten up early, most the scouts are glad to go to bed and sleep. Tomorrow is should be somewhat easier to everyone. A few random shots from camp today – hopefully you see that your son made it to camp.

Scoutmaster playing cards while we are working…. :D

Flash has a hard time lighting the entire outdoors….

More tomorrow….

Camp Rock Enon – Embedded Civilian Report: Morning of the First Day – The Storm after the Calm

August 3, 2009

Despite the reports that camp was fully staffed this year and my services (whatever those might happen to be) would not be needed this year, I received a call that one of our Scouting bastions was still recovering from shoulder surgery and they were extremely desperate for someone to take his place. That was why I got the call – it wasn't unlike when the major league ball players went on strike and were replaced by has-beens and minor leaguers. Just call me Double A Hamm……

Knowing the camp was just an hour and a half or so drive away this year I looked forward to sleeping in and driving in the daylight. I am rewarded with a meager 60 minutes of additional shut eye as we are to be at the church parking lot at 5:00am. When Scoutmaster Haseldon informs me of the time I suppress a groan and casually state "with a plan to leave at about 5:30?" – his look of surprise and comment of "I think the plan is to leave as shortly after that as possible" are as indicative of his novice status as if he had written "rookie" on his forehead in red marker. I smile knowingly.

We arrive at the church at 5:03, slightly behind schedule and find that the majority of the scouts have arrived. However, a few scouts continue to straggle in, there is an inevitable missing form, the flag retrieval from the Bishop's office, trading of cell phone numbers and directions for the drivers and Class A uniforms that must be pulled from duffels. A number of first time scout camp mothers are dropping off their boys and I wonder whether mother or son is managing the better effort at putting on a brave face. We gather for prayer and take the required parting photo and then load into vehicles for the trip. Time of Departure 5:45. Brother Hamm just smiles.

We take up the safety position in the back of the 5 vehicle caravan with Doug Nicholls leading the way in his secret service black pickup, Scoutmaster is second, Bro. Fox third, MI Queen is just in front of us. Cast includes: Jacob Hamm, Taylor F, Austin B, Robert H in the GP patrol and the boys in the duct tape and blue flame patrols – Jerimiah N, Reuben P, Kolby M, Kyle A, Spencer S, Kevin F, Patrick H, Cameron F, Daniel B, Jacob H, Bryce T, and Nathanial C. The older boys coalesced to my van and we are not into Leesburg when they are dreaming of…. I have no idea, but I doubt it is merit badges. The trip progresses quite uneventfully as shown below:

Of course, the trip never passes that way. As we are somewhere in route, the lead truck pulls into a gas station. Seems like someone always forgets to gas up on Saturday before a Monday morning trip. When we get to the front I notice that no one is getting gas. We pull into a spot on the side of the building and the scouts in my car wake up and are convinced that they know what is being purchased inside:

As they attempt to unlock the doors and requisition same, I assure them that no such thing is going on as fireworks are not allowed in any way shape or form at Scout camps. There are a few scouts who do manage to escape their vehicles and spend some money on "refreshments." (by the way, this paragraph is dripping with foreshadowing – I just couldn't let you miss it).

Back on the road we progress smoothly until we get to Winchester. Somewhere a turn is missed and we get to explore some parts of Winchester which are clearly not on the chamber of commerce pamphlets. As a side note, I have been to camp guided by GPS enough times now to know that while they get us there, we oftentimes travel a road less taken. I guess that has made all the difference (apologies to Robert Frost).

About 7:20 we pull into the Camp Rock Enon ("CRE") parking lot. There is a small footbridge that crosses from the camp to the parking lot and before we are halfway to the bridge we are met by a staff member asking us if we are Troop 1106 and informing us that he is our cite guide. We are duly impressed at the level of service. We walk onto the parade grounds and we have lots of questions. Many of which are answered, but not with answers that are particularly clear and our heads are swimming with random thoughts of "two water pitchers before bug juice", "TO's go in early and get spoons" and "seconds by section." Where is my Harry Potter pensive when I need it!

In prior years we have attended LDS week and all the troops arrive on Monday morning, have swim check, set up camp, and classes start after lunch for everyone. We are not at an LDS week this time so we are coming to camp when everyone else arrived on Sunday and did swim check and set up camp. We are going to have to do all we need to do and get the boys to classes at 9:00am!

As we wait for Doug to go into Buffalo Lodge (the scoutmaster lodge – insert your favorite joke here) and find out where we are going, blasting on the intercom comes "(I've had) The Time of My Life" (and NOT the new David Cook version). The boys do not break into spontaneous dirty dancing moves (thankfully). We get our medical check which this year includes a new forehead touch-for-fever exam and related questions about the flu – a side effect of the swine flu pandemic I'm sure. We get our camp assignment and approval for Bro. Fox to drive his truck and gear up to the site.

We assemble for flag ceremony having no real idea what is going on. The camp lines up in two long lines, one on each side of the buttress between the dining hall and the buttresses most with their troop flag. It is quite impressive. Many of them have nice matching Class B's on. I am again reminded that we are not in LDS week anymore, Toto. The staff performs flag ceremony – including a bugle player and snare drum (looks like we won't impress them here with Bro Evans' mad horn skills – good thing we didn't bring him I guess, might not be good for his ego). Then each troop is asked to say something – it is typically "Troop 1106, all present and accounted for, sir" with salute etc. There are more colorful ones. Not skipping a beat, our SPL does some funky chicken run out towards the person taking the reports, gives his report and returns in the same manner. Given the pressure of the moment, quite well done I figure. We look a little like strange people, but that is bound to happen sooner or later anyway. We then have our first experience with the dining hall. All the troops gather at the steps to the dining hall. The program director then asks for a grace volunteer. He then takes off his hat and yells into the dinning hall "A Scout is Reverent!" and then turns and yells to us with his hat above his head "A Scout is Reverent!" "Grace" is then said. There is a grace written on a sign at the top of the doorway (see photo in day two report):
"Lord, bless the creatures of this land,
Bless the person that I am,
bless the others here I meet,
And bless this food that I'll now eat. Amen"

The grace troop then gets to enter. The other troops get to be admitted in an order based on a competition which is based on the whim of the program director. This morning is it yelling. Yelling loudest gets you in first (just for the record, during my time there we did not once have a "quietest troop in first" contest – I know, primary presidents are filing their grievances now...). While this is somewhat enforced, the troops are sent forward so quickly after one another that it is nearly a free for all. There are four doors and four serving areas. Our troop is assigned 3 tables at the back left. We are served eggs and sausage. There are also Cheerio bowls. Food quality is similar, in my culinary critical review, to heater stack at Goshen. Surprisingly they are using Styrofoam cups and plates.

During breakfast the call comes in that our camp is called "Hilltop" – hmm. Guess I would have preferred one called "not-very-far-along-a-flat-path-to-get-to-everything". The follow up report is that we are a few tents short of enough since we are sharing camp with another troop. Doug makes another trip over to Buffalo lodge. The other troop has 4 boys and 2 leaders and has taken up 7 tents. Hmm. That would explain it. After some cordial conversation they understand the predicament and gladly agree to combine so we have enough space. However, it is now pushing 9 and the boys have got to get to classes.

They make announcements at the end of breakfast about various goings on at camp. One is "the trading post will be open at 8:30 today only so those who didn't get vouchers for their classes can get them before going." We walk them to the post to get vouchers. Two of them don't have money since their money is in their packs. Doug floats them. Another is astounded to learn that rifle costs $5. Especially since a sizable portion of his funds for the week were spent at that aforementioned stop on "refreshments." Doug floats him a few dollar loan.

We give them directions as best we can at a camp where all we know about it is gathered from the maps we have which are not quite up to Magellan's standards. When we don't know we tell them to ask staff members and we promise to follow them to find out if it goes well.

We split up and I grab a thick stack of blue cards and head to the waterfront where we have two scouts in swimming and two in canoeing. We have not had swim checks so I want to be sure they get into class without getting drilled about it. Swim staff is helpful and they get their swim tests done and into class without missing anything. I fill out the blue cards for canoeing while they swim. The scouts come back and tell me I have to fill in, I'm not kidding, the full address of the candidate. Are you kidding me?! We have over 70 of these to do and you want addresses? You aren't going to mail them to them! Sheesh. Fortunately, the rest of the staff turn out to be sane reasonable less detail oriented. I then walk over to handicraft area. It is bustling. I get blue cards to the folks there doing woodcarving and basketry. I then head to rifle and archery. It turns out to be farther than I thought. In fact, it seems like a long way out there. This camp seems bigger than Marriott.

The rest of the morning passes with much of the same for the next two hours as kids search for locations and we try to keep up with the demand for blue cards. Despite some severe cramping in my writing hand, I'm able to complete the final blue cards using either my right (non-writing) hand or my left foot. If you get one of those blue cards, my apologies. I took no pictures during this rush as the cramping in my hands kept me from pushing the button on my camera. At least that is my story and I'm sticking to it. Next report – afternoon: " Is it Wednesday?"

End of an Era…

Just before I got married my mother called me and told me that a lady had been in to see her and was selling some furniture she had in her basement. For a price my wife remembers as $200 I bought a set of used furniture including a couch, loveseat, chair and ottoman. If you know me, and if you are reading this you either 1) know me, 2) are a very bored person, or 3) happened to type in some strange combination of words that sent you here, you will know of my propensity for frugality. Ok, I'm sort of cheap. I like to think of that in a good way, as in, I look for good deals and buy bargains. Others, would not be as charitable in their descriptions. So, bottom line is, it wasn't the nicest or prettiest furniture, but the price was right and at some point in the not too distant future we could replace it if we chose to do so. I have attached the picture of the furniture that I sent to my fiancé. I had described it to her has a "sort of tan corduroy" – and she still let me buy it. It must have been love…. After it was purchased I sent her these pictures.

Since that time that couch has been in tons of family photos as the main piece of furniture in our living room.
Here is one my daughter on it with her new baby brother.


On the arrival of #3 in our new apartment, the couch had a new look as did the chair thanks to my wonderful wife and her mad skills – there weren't even any pins I had to worry about….

After the arrival of #4 the couch returned to it's au natural state for a while…

But it was pretty short lived
and within a year it was covered in a new cover with a denim look… which, I might add, was once again hand done by my wife. She is amazing. At some point in this stretch, I assume due to the small size of our home and the condition due to being climbed on by 3 poor kids caged in a small apartment, the loveseat and ottoman were discarded.

Then here it is on the other side of the country enjoying life on the east coast.

So, having been from Idaho to Utar to West coast to the East coast the couch, I can assuredly say, has lived long beyond its expected useful life. But as Q told Picard – "I shall miss you, but all good things must come to an end…" (for you unwashed you can catch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIGxezrlj2I )

So we finally got the a new family room couch. It was my pick not that of my wife. Someday she will get the couch she wants in there, but for now she gets to tolerate my new couch. I love it for a number of reasons. It is blue. It has a recliner. It can fit my whole family at one time - this is no small feat considering that most cars on the market today don't even come close! As proof, here we are…. Let's see. If the new couch lasts as long as the first one I should be looking for a new couch in about 2036! Lest you fret, the couch that has been around longer than my marriage is in the basement now, still serving the family as the kids play video games…. It was still in way too good of shape to get rid of it, and it does seem like part of the family. And besides, the kids are still young enough that climbing out of it when you want to get up is still doable!!